Bondage play is increasing in popularity.Many people fantasize about playing
bondage games but are unsure where to start, how to make sure it is safe, or what to use. This factsheet is an introduction to bondage play that will ensure your sessions are fun, sexually exciting and safe.
What is Bondage Play?
Also called BDSM (Bondage, Restraint Play
Discipline, Sado-Masochism), bondage There is every variation of restraint play can be many things. Tying up available - from simple handcuffs to full your lover for example, or flogging or rope bondage. The key to enjoyment is bossing that person around. What is your partner going to do.
BDSM is highly erotic and psychologically charged. One person (the "submissive") agrees to submit to another person
(the "dominant"). Some people like to be
submissive all the time, others prefer
to be dominant. Some people like to switch between the two roles.
BDSM does not need to be 'hardcore'. It can be remarkably soft and sensual. For
example, running a feather over your lovers body. For some, giving and inflicting pain
(within agreed limits) is part of the play. For others it would be a non-starter.
Everything that happens in a BDSM session is cosensual. It's not about the dominant partner getting what they want - it's more about the submissive getting what they want. An essential part of the BDSM game is for the submissive to set the rules - what can and can't happen. What the limits are. How they can opt out.
For many people, BDSM provides a context and a set of tools for exploring personal boundaries in a safe, fun, erotic and mutually reciprocal way. It can be a vehicle for getting to know your lover in a far more deep and intimate way than you ever thought possible. therefore there is clear evidence that it can turn us on biologically!
What can you do? in what happens after you've been tied once you are 'helpless'? Touch, stroke, excite, cause pain? You can buy an enormous variety of restraints specifically made for BDSM in many different materials.
Sensations Play
Whether your partner is restrained or not, sensation plays a large role in BDSM games. Feathers, fur, sharp objects, ice,
sandpaper - each has its own sensation. Some people enjoy hot wax being dripped on them. We recommend candles made from soy wax which burns at
a lower temperature and can be massaged into skin as a moisturiser afterwards.
Pain Play
Many mild S&M fantasies revolve around
spanking or whipping. Pleasure and pain is
inextricably linked in the minds of some
people. In reality, spanking increases the
blood flow to the genital area.
Safety Issues
A key component of bondage play is to
make sure that your games are safe.
Here's a quick overview of how to ensure that you have fun and it stays that way.
Safeword - agree a word between partners that means 'stop'.
Limits - agree specifically what is not allowed under any circumstances
New partners - Always let someone know where you will be if you have a new partner and arrange for a call to confirm that you are OK